I’ve been pondering this whole introverts and intimacy thing for a few days now and have arrived at some conclusions which shed some positive light on us. I’m more likely to stand back and survey the situation than throw myself head first into something. I have to make a conscious effort to talk to someone new – the conversation doesn’t come easily for me. If I don’t instantly feel a bit of a connection with someone, I’m not driven to work at it (even if I should).
It’s a classic trait of introverts. We generate our own energy and are selective of who receives that energy. I don’t see anything wrong with that – in fact, I think anyone who receives an introvert’s attention should feel privileged. We take great care selecting friends and partners and can offer so much in these roles.
These traits can be quite limiting. As mentioned in my last blog, I felt little connection with three of the four dates I’ve had, and as such, don’t feel a great need to continue the conversation. But at the same time, I trust my intuition. I like to think it’s my way of knowing who’s worth getting to know and who to show the door.
But this could also be a falsity, preventing me from getting to know someone. Taking the dates as an example, have I passed judgement too quickly or have I saved myself giving energy to someone/something that isn’t going to benefit me?
I caught up with a friend for coffee and, as often is the case, the conversation turned to men and relationships. Since instigating change in her life (new job, new town), three previous flames have stepped up to the plate, keen to show their affection. Why is that? Do men look at women who could be considered docile and meek will always be there, will wait for them?
Caring for others is one of the most important things in life to me. I like making sure those near and dear to me are looked after and safe. Do men see women who consider this important as needy and clingy? I certainly don’t see myself as either of those things – as an introvert I like and need my space. I don’t need others’ attention to validate my existence. I have so much
Again, keen to hear your thoughts!